Fixing Stuff With Zealotry

Throughout history we have been fortunate to have in the ranks of others, often in opposition to us whoever we may be, heirs to the original Zealots. Oh, I know you’re thinking that Zealots are freedom fighters and heroes and all that. But often they don’t do the folks they’re trying to help much good. But in the spirit of “it’s an ill wind that blows no one good,” SOMEBODY benefits, usually the guy the zealots were zealoting against.  In true zealot fashion, sometimes these groups even pre-date the original, led by Judas of Galilee or Gamala from C.E. 66-70.

Now if you were an average citizen of Roman Jerusalem in 66 C.E, what? 
What’s that? 
Yes, C.E. which signifies “common era” is the same as A.D. which stands for Anno Domini which in turn translates from Latin to “year of our lord,” more or less. Current practice dictates the use of C.E. since a lot of people do not agree that Jesus of Nazareth was God. On the other hand, we were all here for the ‘common era,’ so there’s not a lot you can argue with there. Or maybe you can, I don’t know and it’s not why we’re here so back off.

But I digress. So, there you were in Jerusalem, goin’ bout your business tanning your hides or boiling your dyes or slaughtering your sheep or whatever you do, then going and making burnt sacrifices at the Temple on the Sabbath and so forth. Then the Zealots jumped up and decided the Romans needed to go. So this Judas guy—seems to be an unfortunate name in many spheres, eh?—has a revolution. Seems successful at first, Jude and his bros take Jerusalem and hold it for like four years!! Whoo-hoo!!

Did I mention the Zealots were revolting? Against the Romans? The friggin’ Romans?! So the Romans destroyed the Temple, plundered it, raped, killed and burned in reprisal, and finished off the Zealots at Masada. What happened to you, peaceful middle class citizen of Jerusalem, you ask? I just told you, keep up willya? You got raped, murdered, burned out and your religion pretty well stomped. 

The Zealots are also credited by some with the invention of terrorism, political assassination, murder of ‘collaborators’ and kidnapping for political leverage. They also destroyed the food supply of the besieged city so the inhabitants would rise up against the Romans. The Talmud describes them as boorish, wild, ruffians and condemns them for their aggression, refusal to compromise, refusal to work with the Rabbis seeking peace and causing the destruction of Jerusalem and the subsequent crushing Roman hold on Judea. Good job lads—if you’re a Roman anyway.

So then who are their heirs? For the purposes of this admittedly slanted article let’s sketch out a definition.

zealot. n. A person or group that forms together under the aegis of the “One True Faith,” whether they say so or not that tries through various methods to install their particular beliefs on any organization be it political, cultural or religious in which they form a minority.

Often marked by a failure to understand the level and depth of commiseration in the larger group to which they belong.

Also often marked by an overestimation of their strength and abilities, thus causing their efforts to end in failure and cause the situations they hope to improve to degrade in actuality. Or, if not ending in failure then leading to the subornation of their original goals and the subjugation of their group or country.

How’s that? Now comes the bit you’ve been waiting for—the list!

Famous Zealots through history:

·  The French Revolution. Creators and executors (pun intended) of the “Reign of Terror,” which lead to the French Empire under Napoleon and the temporary conquest of most of Europe.

·  The Russian Revolution which promised to free the people with the concept of “from each according to their abilities, to each according to their need,” and ended up just being Tsarist Russia in more boring uniforms.

·  Jim Jones and the People’s Temple. Don’t drink the Kool-aid.

·  Heaven’s Gate. Oops, the Mother Ship wasn’t hiding in that comet tail after all.

·  The Black Hand and Gavrilo Princip, Serbian terrorist(s) that Killed Archduke Ferdinand, started WWI which not only wrecked things for Serbia but the whole of Europe and the due to the zealotry of the French when  the war ended, caused WWII which wrecked everything for people all over the world. Good job.

·  The National Socialist Worker’s Party in Germany. They started out pretty well but were suborned by a failed painter and architect from Austria. Millions died.

“Ok, ok,” you say, “we get it, lots of zealots in history. So what’s that got to do with the price of eggs in Jerusalem?” Hm, says I. Didn’t you pay any attention to the intro? Never mind. So here’s the deal. 

There are a lot of zealots in the United States these days. There are groups that want to change everything. The Tea Party comes to mind along with those folks on the other side that want a Sweden-style welfare state. There are a lot of Christians that want to make America “a Christian country again,” never minding the fact that it never has been or was intended to be a Christian Country. There are people that want to change bits and pieces, the right to choice and right to life folks, the anti-gun groups and the pro-gun groups. The greenies and the blackies as I call the drill-it-all-now folks. For practically any issue, you can find groups on either side screaming their lungs out about it.

Well, it’s not all bad. You see, history has shown that the best path is the core of what the Pilgrims of the Massachusetts Bay Colony believed. No, not fundamentalist Christianity! Their core belief or one of them at least was this:

“All things in moderation.”

The key to the whole thing is polite discourse and compromise ending in consensual agreements somewhere in the middle of the argument. Now I know that those groups out there on the ends of the bell curve are going to scream, “THERE CAN BE NO COMPROMISE FOR OURS IS THE ONE TRUE WAY!!!”

This is an example of the political concept, “the ends pull the middle” so, you see we kinda need those guys out there so we can have the tug-o-war that shows all the various concepts and hopefully solutions and then, pay attention now ‘cause here’s the point of the whole diatribe, we get compromise and solutions by all those people in the middle of the bell curve. That would be—I love this term—the Silent Majority. Like you and me, I hope. WE have to come together and fix all this crap. WE have to get these idiots to quit yelling at each other.

How do we do that? Honest to God, Thor, Aphrodite or whoever you worship or don’t, I think the only way is going to be another party. I was thinking that the Progressive Party had a nice ring to it as well as a pretty appropriate namesake, but that’s been co-opted. So how about this: The Moderate Party. 

If the charts and curves are correct people that have moderate political beliefs form about seventy percent of the nation. Know what that means? If they all join our new party, theoretically, we’ll have majorities in the house and the senate and a pretty good shot at the presidency as well. The best part? We still have all those screaming zealots on either side of the isle pointing out the problems and potential solutions! Brilliant, ain’t it?